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Decision & Positioning #011 Between Waiting and Accompanying, I Choose Accompanying: A Single Mother's Critical Decision and Critical Moments

Today's newsletter is very special. Instead of discussing any corporation or so-called successful person's decisions, I want to talk about a single mother's decision. Through this single mother's decision, we'll further discuss what constitutes critical decisions and critical moments.

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A Single Mother's Decision

This single mother is called Sister Chen. Sister Chen works day and night to balance work and parenting, working during the day to support the family, and caring for and accompanying her children's growth in the evening. Her son had abundant energy during elementary school with no outlet for release. Compared to other classmates, he had a more explosive temperament and easily got into conflicts with classmates. This troubled Sister Chen greatly.

However, when her son entered middle school, a change occurred. An older brother at church introduced her son to the world of drumming. Suddenly, his emotions and energy had an outlet for release, and his personality gradually began to stabilize. Sister Chen felt her son's transformation. When the church brother recommended that he could go to a music studio near Taipei Main Station for further learning:

Faced with this situation, what would you choose if you were in her position?

Faced with this situation, Sister Chen made a decision: she not only sent her son to the music studio to learn drums, but she also decided to accompany him by starting to learn guitar herself.

I curiously asked Sister Chen, "If it were me, I would just be responsible for dropping the child off at the music studio. During music lesson time, I would go to a nearby coffee shop to read books, magazines, or do my own things to relax."

Sister Chen replied: "Between waiting and accompanying, I choose accompanying."

"When I learn an instrument together with my child, I can discuss music with him, encourage each other, face learning difficulties and setbacks together, and have common topics with my child."

This decision opened my eyes because it was completely beyond my expectations. This wouldn't have been an option I would have thought of.

As the children entered high school and college preparation with heavy academic pressure, Sister Chen had always harbored thoughts of further education. At this time, Sister Chen made another major decision. She applied to study at Open University, experiencing studying, exams, and classes alongside her children. On weekends, she and her children would take their respective textbooks to coffee shops to study and prepare for exams together. During her studies, she even received scholarships. Eventually, Sister Chen completed her Open University courses and obtained her college degree. Sister Chen not only completed the journey of her youthful dreams but also accompanied her children through precious times.

Critical Decisions and Critical Moments

Between accompanying and waiting, this mother chose accompanying, and this is a decision she's proud of—a decision that deeply influenced both herself and her children.

This reminds me of Sequoia Capital, which manages over $500 billion in assets. When observing dozens and hundreds of companies, Sequoia Capital discovered that there are critical decisions in life or companies. These critical decisions will disproportionately shape life or companies. The beautiful decisions made at crossroads will have enormous impact on the journey of the next several years or decades.

In fact, in human history, not every point in time is equal—some times are more important than others. This is also true for our personal life experiences. Break time always seems particularly short, while class time always seems particularly long. Or certain times in our lives feel like particularly important moments, special times.

For example, for Taiwan politics, it might be the 318 Movement; for Hong Kong politics, it would be the Umbrella Movement; for South Africa, it would be the large-scale truth and reconciliation starting in 1990, which helped them forgive others for peace, bid farewell to the past, and focus on the present and future. These moments were opportunities for historical change, gaps for transformation.

This is why I became interested in corporate decisions and positioning—wanting to better understand those important decisions and how those important positionings emerged, so that when I face critical decisions and critical moments, I can use this broadened perspective to make important and beautiful decisions.

However, before those critical decisions and critical moments appear, can we fast-forward through them because these "ordinary" times are unimportant times?

The answer is very likely "no." For example, Mandela, who began leading national reconciliation in 1990, was imprisoned by the government in 1964 on charges of "conspiracy to overthrow the government" and other crimes until his release in 1990. Before Mandela made critical decisions, he spent twenty-six years in prison. Before the 318 Movement, Taiwanese society had been accumulating civil movement energy since 2008, which led to the 318 Movement.

For Sister Chen, without experiencing her son's turbulent adolescence and learning to be a good role model at church during those "ordinary" times, those critical decisions and critical moments might never have arrived.

Although we don't know when those critical decisions and critical moments will come—like walking an unknown path, and unknown paths always feel farther, longer, and more endless than known paths—those moments will come. Before they arrive:

Let us prepare with all our might and carry hope.